Happy Tuesday all!
I hope and pray your day is going well. It’s a great day here in North Texas. Yep – a “cold front” blew through and it’s a) raining and b) not 100 degrees. BONUS!
I am going to attempt to participate in the List It Tuesday Link up, that two of my favorite bloggers host. One is Kris @Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers and one is Angie @RealLifeAtHome. And – I’ve linked up with Wedded Wednesday! That’s a fun link up. Check it out.
After the recent IHM Conference I attended, I am no longer using SAHM as an acronym. I give you the acronym WAHMWoP (work at home mom, without pay). HAHAHA Aside from the wiping of people, places and things… aside from cooking, cleaning, bill paying, teaching, doctoring, etc… that moms do all day every day – we have this person called a husband and that relationship needs work too.
As you know, I have been following and posting about Elizabeth’s Marriage Monday Series about being a better wife. You know, my Grandma Helen always said we can only control ourselves. So – regardless of what others do, we have to be responsible for us. And as a wife/mom this holds so true.
Before I get to my list, you all know that NO ONE is perfect. I do not meet my own requirements some days, much less God’s. But there is Examination of Conscience and Forgiveness. Yes?! We are so blessed. So do the best you can, to be the best wife you can.
My Top Ten Tips For Godly Wifing (so hard to make a top ten) are:
10. Integrity. The definition of Integrity is two-fold.
1) The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; and, 2) The state of being whole and undivided.
You can see, right off the bat, why this is so important in a wife (spouse). If you are dishonest with your spouse, you will do severe damage to your marriage. Further, we must be a whole, united front, when handling certain issues of parenting and just BEING married.
9. Listen and Communicate Effectively. Sigh. Perhaps one of the hardest things to do is listen and not answer too quickly the wrong way. We must remember men process things differently. Where we may think we are just talking, they think “I’m the man, leading the family and she is not being respectful”. You know? I run into trouble with Marque’s line of work. I may as well be an anti-Engineer. It’s just not my thing. But I’ve learned to listen without making up rhymes about engineering acronyms and breaking out in a giggle because I have no clue. He appreciates my efforts. Truly!
8. Be Frugal and Wise with Money. Bottom line, if you are a WAHMWoP, then he is the only one working outside the home. If you pay the bills and keep accounts, you need to make sure you are sticking to the agreed upon budget and being honest about what you are purchasing. Praying together about a hospital bill is a good thing. Praying together because you bought a $500 purse and can’t afford groceries won’t go well. You know? Yes, I know – you wouldn’t. But one time, I charged some much needed clothes on a card that was paid down. I didn’t tell Marque. So when I was reporting finances I slipped it in. Sigh. Not the way to go about it. Marque is very generous with me. I don’t have to lie… and I didn’t mean to.. Sigh. Imperfect me.
7. Cook Great Meals. If you are not a good cook, become one. Men love a wife who can cook. Learn to cook his favorites. I learned to cook with the Good Housekeeping Illustrated Cookbook, 1980. Step by step. Includes how to set a table, plan a brunch, what herbs are used for, etc. Honestly I’ve used it for 34 years and just bought one off eBay. Here’s a picture:
Further, find Internet Sites like Life As Mom’s site Good Cheap Eats. Learn to organize your pantry, fill your freezer, can your own sauce/jelly, etc. I tend to gravitate to people I understand and respect. Jessica is that. She’s clear, no-nonsense and loves what she does. I love recipe sites, but if I want logic and recipes and finance advice – she’s my go-to.
6. Care For His Children. DUH. Right? I know – but it has to be said. Caring for children is, in addition to feeding and cleaning, is about teaching them manners and helping them grow into Godly men/women. It will quickly show if you are not doing this.
5. Keep a Clean Home. I keep a very clean home. I always did. I was “born organized” and some people aren’t. For you all, we have Chore Charts. Mine is here Davis Family Cleaning Schedule. And no – it doesn’t always happen that way. But no one really notices because my house is clean. Christopher has plenty of chores and always has. We don’t pay him. Everyone does their part here at the Davis Household. Mostly, on a busy day, I take a few moments to run the vacuum, sweep the floors and wipe things down. I light a candle or two and create at least an appealing space for my husband to walk into. Again – I want him to want to be here.
4. Be Joyful/Content. I’m assuming your husband works hard like mine. And even if he doesn’t who wants to be around someone that is mopey and un-joyful? not me! I really try to wait to talk to Marque about things until I can get my voice cheerful. When I am upset, I’m my worst self – snarky, ugly, whiney. NO BUENO! We (I) have to show our (my) husbands we are thankful for what they do for our family. I can not compare my life to others. I no longer care to. It creates sadness and a bad case of the “well I want what she has…” and p.s. that is breaking a commandment. Who wants to do that? We teach our children to be happy with what they have. We teach them to smile and have fun even if they don’t want to be there. I submit, we need to listen to ourselves.
3. Be Respectful. Let him Lead. This was so hard for me when I married. I was older (34). I had never lived with a man. I did things “my way”. And that is not what a Godly wife does. In some ways, I laugh now, because I’m so not the independent person I was. I need my husband in every decision. I need him to lead our family and I empower him to do that. I don’t tear him down. AND I don’t let my child do it either. I ask his permission for things. He usually gives it…. but it is important for US that he lead in that way.
When we first married, Marque was a “well, I will go to church if you want to” guy. But once I convinced him the Catholic Church (it took ten years) was where we needed to be… Our Lord changed this man. He leads family Rosary. He reads to us nightly. He makes sure we are at Mass on Sundays. This man…. He’s every bit of the family leader God always wanted him to leard. He’s imperfect (like I am). But he’s respected and empowered to lead. AMEN!
2. Show Him Love. Ahem. Not just THAT!!! Ha. Slow dance in your living room. Do sweet little things. Send a note in his lunch box. Let him watch HIS show. Smile at him. Hug him. Give him space. Whatever it is – show him you love him.
1. Be in Prayer. Prayer is my sanity! Without God, our Father, we are not the wives we should be. Our marriages and lives would suffer greatly if we stepped away from prayer. I pray for my husband and family constantly. It’s what God calls us to do. We are the heart of the home – through our Lord. In order for that heart to be healthy, we must be in constant communication with Him!
So what do you think? Did I leave anything out? I hope not. But let me know..
Love, Hugs & Blessings All!